


Patterned Connections

by Mightybignein (Blueberryshortcake)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caduceus is the tallest little brother, Conversations, Family Metaphors, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 02:55:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16525967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueberryshortcake/pseuds/Mightybignein
Summary: People follow patterns to find comfort in unfamiliar situations. Caduceus was one of many siblings and finds similar patterns in the Mighty Nein. He and Nott have a conversation.





	Patterned Connections

**Author's Note:**

> It sort of occurred to me that most (or all?) Caduceus' disguise selfs other than being a snake person have been as red headed humans.

Sometimes people fall into patterns to comfort themselves. Caduceus Clay was very aware of his own patterns. How he generally fit in to the last big bunch he was apart of. 

 

Siblings were his only baseline for this sort of relationship. Yasha the eldest, a bit aloof but protector of everyone. Fjord the elder brother trying to keep them in line, Beau the tough sister that would sometimes gently bully but more often defend her siblings against anyone that dared to try and hurt them. Jester and Nott the mischievous little sisters, Caleb--

 

Well, Caleb was definitely a middle child. At least in this cobbled together family. He wasn’t quite sure where that left him of course, it was all so very new, and yet very old. He followed the patterns he was used to, encouraged them, for his own comfort. When he disguised himself as human he at first unintentionally, and then actively copied the most striking features from Caleb, and Beau’s nose, she has a very good nose. 

 

“You’re not making fun of him, are you?” 

 

Nott had been the only one to really notice it. He smiled down at her. “Making fun of who?”

 

“Caleb.” She wrung her hands, shifting on her feet. Caduceus hummed trying to figure out what she meant. 

 

“When you do your disguises,” She prompted.

 

“Oh, that. No,” He shook his head mildly. “That isn’t making fun. That’s… a way for me to feel connected?”

 

“Connected to Caleb?” Nott squinted, trying to figure him out. It didn’t take long for him to realize how very close Nott and Caleb were. They isolated themselves, by sticking so close together, both loved the group, but they weren’t ready to let go of their inner circle and council. 

 

“Mr. Clay?”

 

Caduceus chuckled. “I come from a lot of brothers and sisters.”

 

“Oh…” Nott seemed to think about that. “I was just wondering… I didn’t think you were, you’re not really the type.”

 

“But you’re bothered.”

 

“What does he owe you?”

 

She pays attention. That was good. He looked out over the endless water that he had come to dislike for the most part. Even with the gentle conversation of fish he was having a hard time of it. “He said whatever I need. One day I hope I can take him up on that.”

 

“He has… he has important things to do you know,” Nott usually climbed up boxes or tables when she spoke to him. Their height difference put him far above her. She didn’t climb onto the side of the ship though. She firmly wanted a wall between her and water. 

 

“That makes sense,” Caduceus said serenely. He turned away from the water, having his fill of it. Of course turning around meant he was just facing another direction of endless bottle green. Ah. Well.

 

“Lots of people make a face when I say that.”

 

“Aren’t I making a face?”

 

“They make impolite faces.”

 

“That seems rude,” Caduceus zoned in on her instead. That felt a bit better. “Your boy seems determined. Importance is in the eye of the beholder, but I wouldn’t disagree with you.” His lips quirked. “I find myself in a similar situation to you. I’ve hitched my wagon to his horses.”

 

Nott frowned. She didn’t seem sure if she liked that or not. Caduceus let himself sink down so that he was leaning against the low wall of the ship. He was too tall for it to the block the horizon. 

 

“He made the promise on behalf of the group you know so if he owes you we all owe you,” Nott said. She came to sit beside him. He nodded down to her good naturedly. 

 

“He made the promise,” Caduceus said.

 

Nott sighed. She looked up at him forlornly. “I hate water.”

 

“It’s unpredictable,” Caduceus agreed. He didn’t like. It was all balance, all nature, but this form of nature was unfamiliar, alien. All the patterns he recognised spun in a new and terrifying way. 

 

“We were supposed to be finding out things for Fjord. Now we’re pirates. On the water. I hate this plan. There isn’t even a plan. Where are we going? What are we doing? I want to help Fjord, I really do, but--”

 

“Mr. Caleb was a good leader when he had a goal for the group,” He interrupted her softly. “But his mind is now back to his important things, right?”

 

“I think so…it’s probably better for him like that...but he’s so smart he should be leading us. Fjord is usually very level headed but he hasn’t been since… since...” Nott sighed sadly. “I...do you like him?”

 

“Mr. Fjord?”

 

“Caleb.”

 

“Do I like Mr. Caleb? Yes,” he answered her easily. Her insecurities were painted on her face for the world to see.

 

“The others are wonderful, they really are, but I just… it would be nice… if … other than me… there was someone else that … believed he is good… and was open about it… because he needs to know Mr. Clay, and even though he’s getting better… he still doesn’t believe it.”

 

“Goodness and evil  is what you do, not who you are.”

 

“But what about when you do bad things, Mr. Clay? Things that--”

 

“Doing good or evil isn’t what’s going to help him,” Caduceus looked over. Caleb was at the front of the ship staring out at the endless water the smallest of smiles on his face. Even after almost drowning several times he still seemed that little bit enchanted with the full sea. “He needs to come to terms with what he’s done. Acceptance isn’t a brand of morality. I don’t know what he did, but he views it as unforgivable, he’s fighting it, trying to find a way around it or through it. One day he’s going to have to deal with the fact that he can’t change the past. I think what’s really helping him is you... and them.”

 

“And you Mr. Clay.”

 

“Me?”

 

“I know we haven’t done a good job of it, but he is trying to look after you. You’re right. He made that promise to you… I think he feels responsible for you now.”

 

“Like a big brother,” Caduceus look down and gave a soft “Hah,” of amusement. 

 

“If anyone’s going to be called big it’s you, Mr. Clay. You’re gigantic,” Nott pointed out. “Anyway it’s good… him being worried for people other than me...people being worried for him… I guess… it was just… after taking this ship I was--we were both worried ...when Molly…” She sighed again. “We don’t want everyone to leave. It used to be for safety, but then three of them got taken and one of them died and suddenly it wasn’t about safety anymore. It was about--”

 

“Family.”

 

Nott grinned at him. “You get it Mr. Clay, you understand.”


End file.
